What’s coming down the newsroom pike next?
Stories made up from whole cloth have been trending madly ever since Christopher Steele’s Dirty Dossier found success with the gossip-mongering Democrats.
Stories are always so much more fun to write when they can be published devoid of all facts.
Any “sob sister” can make a name for herself on social media if she’s salacious enough.
Any dude worth his keep can outdo any other dude who has to follow the outdated who, what, where, why and when rules of journalism.
A good vocabulary in writing is no longer necessary with the F-bomb on full display.
Making up stories goes on in almost every news room, any hour during the live-long day.
Can you hear them now…”Jake (certainly not Jake Tapper), I’ll have this little gem ready to roll by the time you return with my latte’.’ Make it a double’.
The latest example of what is a real news story comes straight from the CBS:
‘How Can I Be Sick?’ Woman Who Took Hydroxychloroquine For 19 Years To Treat Lupus Still Got COVID-19’.
“OCONOMOWOC, Wis. (CBS Local) — A Wisconsin woman who has taken hydroxychloroquine for 19 years to treat lupus says the anti-malarial drug will not protect someone from COVID-19. (CBS, May 21, 2020)
Odd that it’s Kim, and not Karen.
“Kim, who doesn’t want to show her face or give her full name, says after the pandemic began, she only left her Oconomowoc home to go the grocery store. (CBS)
“But by mid-April, she started feeling coronavirus symptoms.”
And just like that blankety-blank President Trump, she wasn’t wearing a Tony Fauci/Debora Birx-approved mask!
“Weak all over. Coughing, fever. The fever was very high,” she told WISN. “It just went downhill from there. I couldn’t breathe no more.” (CBS)
This double-negative description, “I couldn’t breathe no more” just had to be written by a Newsie. Oconomowockers don’t talk like that.
“Kim said she tested positive for COVID-19. (CBS)
“When they gave the diagnosis, I felt like it was a death sentence. I was like, ‘I’m going to die,’” she said. “I’m like, ‘How can I be sick? How? I’m on the hydroxychloroquine.’ They were like, ‘Well, nobody’s ever said that was the cure or that was going to keep you safe’ and it definitely did not.”
Sounds like our Kim could be related to Fredo Cuomo.
“Kim said even though she took precautions when leaving the house for the grocery store, she thought she would be safe because of what President Donald Trump has said about the drug. (CBS)
“Trump has repeatedly advocated hydroxychloroquine for possible treatment or prevention of COVID-19. On Monday, he revealed he had been taking the drug “for about a week and a half.”
“A lot of good things have come out about the hydroxy. A lot of good things have come out. You’d be surprised at how many people are taking it, especially the front-line workers — before you catch it,” Trump said at the White House. “I happen to be taking it. I happen to be taking it. … I’m taking it — hydroxychloroquine — right now.”
This story is irrefutable proof that it is the president’s fault that Oconomowocker Kim came down with the virus against all odds!
Note to all Oconomowocker citizen journalists: “Did any of you see ‘Kim’ licking all the lamp posts on her way back from the grocery store?”
“Hydroxychloroquine is often used to treat autoimmune diseases like lupus, but has “not been shown to be safe and effective for treating or preventing COVID-19,” according to the most recent guidelines from the Food and Drug Administration. (CBS)
“The FDA warned last month against taking hydroxychloroquine “outside of the hospital setting or a clinical trial due to risk of heart rhythm problems.”
“Kim, who was hospitalized for seven days, is mostly recovered now but is still on oxygen at her home.
“You’re not safe taking that medication at all. [Hydroxychloroquine] is not going to prevent anything. You can still get coronavirus,” she said. “It kind of makes me mad that [Trump] thinks it’s going to do that and is telling the whole world it’s going to do that.”
What’s coming down the newsroom pike next?
Maybe a story about an unnamed woman— mostly recovered from the coronavirus—but seriously injured when the oxygen she was still using—unexpectedly exploded in her home.
But it all depends on whether ‘Jake’ got his latte refill after finishing his latest little ‘gem’.