OLD BUTCH


Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young pullets, and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was  replaced. This took a lot  of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

Fred’s favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To Fred’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring.  He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Fred was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Local Farm Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the “No Bell Piece Prize,” but they also awarded him the “Pulletsurprise” as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.

Vote carefully in the next election, you can’t always hear the bells.

If you don’t send this on, you’re chicken.

Barack Hussein Obama meets George Washington!


When President Barack Obama died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He got in his face and yelled, “How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive?”

Patrick Henry approached and shouted, “You wanted to end our liberties, but you failed!”

James Madison followed and said, “This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!”

Thomas Jefferson was next. He snarled, “It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence.”

The verbal beat down continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the radical socialist leader.

As the insulted Obama hung his head in shame, an angel appeared. Obama wept and said, “This is not what you promised me.”

The angel replied, “I told you there would be 72 VIRGINIANS waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?

“You really need to listen when someone is trying to tell you something!”lums