This is an edited version of an old post.

The Secret Sam was my favorite Christmas present as a child. I still have it, and I will keep it, or perhaps pass it on to a grandchild. My husband and I recently moved into a new home, and just last week I unpacked my Secret Sam, something I kept although I gave away so many things before our move.

Oh, how I was excited and hoping the year I asked for my own Secret Sam.

That was my spy year, my year of intrepid adventures around the neighborhood. It was one of my last Christmases as a child, I think, wanting toys and dreaming of adventures. Not too many years later, perhaps even the next one, my Christmas gifts would be stereos and albums, bell bottom jeans and paisley print turtlenecks.

Perhaps that is why the memory of it is such a treasure to me.

This year my grandchildren will be blessed with the breathless anticipation of what might be under the tree Christmas morning. They will be late to bed, too excited to sleep easily, and early to rise, rushing to the living room in all the excitement and wonder a child can have. 

They are being taught the real reason for Christmas, and they will have opened the last flap on the Advent calendar the day before, they will place Jesus in the manger on Christmas morning, and some of them will have caught snippets of the Christmas story, perhaps even at Midnight Mass, but most are still too young to really understand the Biblical readings.

Recently my four year old grandson Conner, whom many of you remember praying for during his heart surgery, has shown an interest in the life of Jesus and spends time telling his story. Conner is autistic, and has just been able, this last few months, to sit through a whole Mass.

I have a book here at my house that unfolds into the journey to Bethlehem, and all the figures are there to travel or meet Mary and Joseph along the way. We read stories, we sing songs, we watch videos.

Together we have baked cookies and breads and made treats, and we have given them away. One granddaughter talks about Jesus and Mary and Joseph as if she is speaking of beloved family members who have gone on an exciting trip. Updated note. That comment was from last year, this year she is preparing for her First Holy Communion, and she has a much more mature comprehension of Christmas. I treasure her growth, and let go longingly of the childhood sweetness.

I want to help nurture faith, hope, and love, generosity, joy, as well as create memories and enjoy the anticipation. I want to see Christmas through the eyes of happy children who see so clearly the joy, the promise, and the simpleness of it all.

Most of all, I want to share the feelings, the very same feelings of a child who exclaims “I love Jesus!” and means it with all their heart.

May your Christmas Eve be blessed with warmth and hope and family and stockings that will soon be full, a house filled with scents of the season, and the anticipation of the birth of our Savior.

I pray for those who can’t be home, especially our service men and women, all those who work to keep us safe and healthy, and those who just can’t be home with loved ones. I pray for those who are alone in the world, for children who won’t have a joyful and warm and safe Christmas.

I pray for the world to share the joy and peace of the season. God bless us every one.

In years past I’ve done posts on favorite Christmas gifts, especially those from our childhood, and I will post that later, but this year I have something a little different to talk about as well.

Sometimes we are blessed, in large ways or small, as is the story behind the Christmas Pumpkin, to do something special for someone, something that brings with it a smile and joy to the recipient of your gift, but is an occasion of grace and joy to you as well. Aren’t those the very best Christmas gifts, ones that stay in our memories forever, and pay dividends for all the years to come?

If you guys have been hanging out here at the Tree for more than four years, you remember my grandson Conner. He was born with two holes in his heart, and many of you said prayers for him and his family when he had surgery at Vanderbilt. We still get comments and emails from people who ask for Conner updates!

He turned four this summer, and he is an active and adventurous little scamp with the smile of an angel and often the mischievousness of a little devil.

Conner and his older brother are Autistic. Many people with autism develop an interest in very specific things, and they can become very knowledgeable about them, and they are often passionate about these things.

Our older grandson Mason loves trains and penguins. At six years old, he can astound you with conversation about trains, both steam and diesel, and he knows many facts about specific trains. He also loves penguins, and for several years now he has been able to educate us with some truly unusual facts.

I certainly never knew there were penguins in Peru! He has two beloved stuffed penguins that take turns going almost everywhere he goes, Waddles, and little Fonya. This year Fonya went along to see Santa.

Conner’s great love is pumpkins, all year round. He loves every single pumpkin, big or small, real or artificial. A few months ago he told me that all pumpkins are his, every one of them. So, if you had a pumpkin on your porch or decorating your Thanksgiving table, say a prayer of gratitude that Conner let you borrow it!

Fall has always been my favorite time of the year, and the last two years I’ve had a new reason to love it. Last fall Conner had only been in school for a few months, and he was mostly still non verbal then. His inability to communicate, along with the many issues associated with autism, sensory issues especially, made life very difficult for him, and it was not usually a good idea to take him out in public.

However, he had just found pumpkins, and his enthusiasm captivated me, so I bought him a pumpkin, a real one, at the grocery store. His love for it, and desire to take it everywhere he went, and even to sleep with it, made me think he needed an artificial one to play with.

So, I took him to Hobby Lobby because I wanted him to experience the wall of pumpkins in the front of the store, and the aisles full of all sizes and color pumpkins. He wasn’t too sure about the store at first, and I still remember his little thin (at that time he wasn’t eating well) body trembling.

Oh, but he loved those pumpkins and it isn’t an exaggeration at all to tell you that he carefully looked at each offering before he chose his pumpkin. There were a few aisles of Christmas decor, of course, so I thought maybe he would be interested in a Santa or a tree, and I just wanted to get him things he would love.

He seemed to think that he had to choose one thing, even though I kept reassuring him that he could pick another present or two. He adamantly shook his head and refused my every suggestion, but finally reached his little hand toward an old pickup truck with two blocks in the bed that had numbers on each surface. It was a little Advent calendar.

He snatched his hand back before he touched it, but I bought it for him anyhow. It’s now a part of his family’s Christmas decor, but it never got to pumpkin status in his love.

This year when I took him to Hobby Lobby he was a different little boy. In his second year of attending a wonderful school where he has learned so many things, including language skills, he’s able to express himself like any other excited four year old, and many things have changed for Conner.

He wanted each and every pumpkin, and tried to put dozens in the buggy. As I said, he considered all of them his, and just wanted to bring them home.

After a lot of haggling and laughter, I finally negotiated the purchase of three pumpkins. I told him he could have any three small medium and large pumpkins he wanted. He put a lot of thought and exploration into his choices, and in the end, it was quite clear that each one was chosen to meet mostly sensory pleasures.

The largest was a regular orange pumpkin that looked very real. The next was a velvet pumpkin, brightly colored and so soft and wonderful to stroke. The little one was a different color, and one he could easily carry around with him. He insisted on taking them all with him to therapy appointments, and he would arrange them in display on the tables or shelves.

A few weeks ago he began to ask for a Christmas pumpkin. Of course, pumpkins are long gone from roadside stands and even Hobby Lobby. And who has ever heard of Christmas pumpkins? Conner is nothing if not persistent, and he kept asking.

So, I ordered a white pumpkin and went searching for some Christmas decorations I could stick on it. This is what I came up with, and it won’t win any art awards or set any decor trends. But the bright colors and flashy stars are right down his alley, and his smile was absolutely ample reward for the little bit of trouble it was to make what is our first Christmas pumpkin.

I hope you have stories to tell of your own best moments of gift giving, or of being the recipient of a special or unusual gift, given with all the love that comes from such an occasion.

This year my favorite present is a Christmas pumpkin and a beautiful smile.

Merry Christmas everyone, from all of us here behind the Tree.